(So, we got a call from the Q branch of MI6. Turns out, they didn't like us selling their top-secret gear. No worries! We've got a man at UNCLE who's hooking us up once he's done saving the world. Arson Watches ship out June 4th).
A timepiece with one of the most fundamental technologies man has ever created... FIRE.
The Arson Watch keeps track of time, and with the click of a button, you'll be able to summon a flame at 2,000 degrees Fahrenheit. No joke, for just $17.99, you will receive a fully functional Arson Watch. Please don't commit arson; it's illegal.
If you connect the Arson Watch to your iPhone or Android phone, it will slowly melt it.
Arson Watch makes all the ways you’re used to staring fires more convenient. And because it sits right on your wrist, you're never more than a second away from a nightlight, giving a friend a light, or staying warm on a cold night. Or, you could use it to do this...
A device you wear is vastly different from one you keep on a desk or carry in your pocket. It’s more than a tool. It’s a true expression of your personal taste. So we designed Arson Watch in a wide range of styles. Because we want you to love wearing it as much as you love using it.
The available styles* include: Silver, Silver White, White Silver, Platinum, Chrome, Titanium Chrome, Chromium, Space Chromium, Gray, Space Gray, Spaceship Gray, Timberwolf, Sterling, and many more. Each is just $19.99.
We even have a luxurious White Platinum Blessed Edition, which is the same as all of the others, only I stand over it and give it a blessing before shipping.... oh, and it costs $10,000.
The Arson Watch can be refilled with any standard butane canister. Click here to learn how to refill the Arson Watch.
The Arson Watch should not be used for arson... that's illegal.
*Please note, while the product is real, the color variations are not - no matter which watch is ordered we only have one variation of watch style.